Don't Call Me a Victim

New York Daily News - December 07, 2000

By AMANDA GARDNER

Barbara Hall tracked down her rapist, & refused to let the attack destroy her life

For Barbara Hall — wife, mother, novelist and creator/executive producer of the hit TV show "Judging Amy" — life is divided into two parts: before the rape, and after.

Her new novel, "A Summons to New Orleans," based on that event, is as much an effort to recapture the past as it is to seize the future.

Three and a half years ago, Hall, now 38, went to New Orleans to visit friends. On her last night, after having dinner with the couple she was visiting, she went alone to Bourbon Street to hear some music. About midnight, Hall started back to her hotel, wending her way through the crowded tourist district.

Two blocks from her hotel, she turned onto a quieter street. A man grabbed her from behind, choking her so hard she couldn't breathe — let alone scream.

"I was pretty convinced I was going to die," says Hall. The assailant forced her down onto the pavement and raped her. Hall doesn't recall how long it took — "I kind of left my body during the experience," she says — but she does remember the humiliating aftermath, when the rapist sternly lectured her about her stupidity and the dangers of the Big Easy.

Hall went back to her hotel and called the police, but that experience was even worse than the assault. Not only did it take the detectives four hours to get there, but they took her straight back to the crime site — instead of the hospital. It was "a bunch of strange men in the middle of the night," Hall remembers.

Finally, they drove her to the hospital and left her there. Hall never saw a woman or a counselor throughout the whole ordeal.

Without even realizing it, Hall had already started to fight back. "There's that moment you realize it's going to happen, that you're going to trade [the rape] for your life," she says. "As soon as I came back it was all about how I was going to take my power back."

Hall canceled her flight out the next day and called a friend from New York to join her. The two scoured Bourbon Street for her attacker. They searched bars and restaurants, stopped people on the street and asked if they had seen anyone matching his description, and then, completely by chance, it happened: Hall spotted her rapist walking into a club. She immediately called the police and had him arrested.

Trial and Error

Hall endured three separate trials over the course of a 18 months. (New Orleans District Attorney Harry Connick Sr. was instrumental in having the case continue until there was a result.)

The first two trials ended with hung juries. On the third try, Hall's rapist was sentenced to 15 years without parole, something that surprised Hall. "It's really rare for a rapist to be convicted," she says. "I don't think people understand how rare."

According to the Department of Justice's Bureau of Justice Statistics, only 28.3% of rapes and sexual assaults are even reported to the police. Only a fraction of all rape cases, therefore, end with a conviction.

Hall began writing "A Summons to New Orleans" before the final trial. Although much of the book follows Hall's own experience, "Summons" is actually told from the point of view of Nora Braxton, a friend of the rape victim, Simone.

Nora is invited to New Orleans for an all-expenses-paid week of fun, but she soon discovers she is needed for moral support at Simone's rape trial.

Asked why she chose to tell the story this way, Hall responds, "I think I was trying to get back to my perspective, my life before this happened. I wasn't ready to let go of it before. The novel let me live in that place for a while, a person to whom this has not happened. I wanted to see myself from other perspectives."

Although we don't know how Simone rebuilds her life, we do know what happened to Barbara Hall: She met her husband, writer Paul Karon, just four months after the incident. Karon accompanied Hall to the trials and courted her in the courtroom.

"It was very easy to understand that I wanted to be with this person because of the way he handled this whole thing," says Hall. "He wasn't daunted by it; this was my history now. If somebody was going to run away from that, then it wasn't somebody I could be with."

"[Being raped] changes everything," says Hall, who just signed a seven-figure development deal with 20th Century Fox Television. "I would even say most of it is good. It gave me a stronger sense of doing what I wanted to do creatively and being a little fearless."

Hall has a sign on her office door at 20th Century Fox: "No blood, no emergency."

"That's how I see life now," she says. Or as Simone declares just before the trial begins, "I am not a victim. Don't refer to me that way."

"A Summons to New Orleans" (Simon & Schuster, $23) is available at bookstores and from online booksellers .

Defend Yourself

Former Detective Robert Wright shows women when and how to fight.

Last year, there were 141,000 rapes in the U.S. — one every two minutes. Robert Wright's advice to victims is strike when the attacker least expects it. Until then, pretend to go along with what he wants.

Wright developed this self-defense technique after serving more than 29 years as a Nassau County police officer, 23 of them as a street detective. He also holds a black belt in jujitsu.

Wright's philosophy is explained in a new book, "Rape Defense: A Confrontational Approach" (Black Geese Publications, $29.95, available from select bookstores, from www.rapedefense.com and by writing Saratoga Defense, P.O. Box 4640, Saratoga Springs, NY 12866). Most self-defense gurus start out by telling the victim to resist, but Wright bases his techniques on jujitsu, which emphasizes remaining composed until the last moment.

"A main tenet of jujitsu is don't give your attacker any idea that you're going to react to his aggression and, when you do it, you do it to terminate him," says Wright. A woman has to do the same thing, directing all her resources against the weak points of a man.

The instep of the foot is one such weak point, because it contains so many small, easy-to-break bones. His groin is another obvious weak point, though Wright cautions that one "hit" is probably not going to be enough. A woman is going to have to fight until she has disabled her attacker. Wright's book describes dozens of specific techniques designed to do just that.

Here are some more tips from "Rape Defense":

Be alert and aware on the street, in your car, at work and at home. Look around while you walk and keep your head up.

Wear sneakers or good walking shoes. This will give you mobility and a stronger foot to strike with. Hiking shoes can be effective for shin strikes. If you need to wear dress shoes, carry them in a bag to put on when you need them. The shoes themselves in a firm bag can also make an effective weapon.

Keep your currency, credit cards, license and keys on your person, not in a pocketbook. This way, if your purse is grabbed, you can easily let it go. (In fact, a good general rule is: If something can be replaced, let it go.)

Walk against the traffic wherever practical. It is harder to be grabbed from a car if the attacker has to back up. When passing a building, alley, vacant lot or open space, walk curbside. This makes it harder for an attacker lurking in those areas to grab you. Ideally, walk with another person and stick to lighted areas.

Get into the practice of carrying a separate car key. If you are confronted, toss the key as far as you can so the attacker cannot get hold of it. By depriving an attacker of access to your car, you keep the confrontation public and remain in a better position to summon help. If the attacker starts to look for the tossed key, use your spare to get into your car and escape.

Also carry separate keys for your home and office. This gives you a chance to keep the confrontation public.

If you are caught in your car, try to disable the vehicle so the attacker doesn't have a chance to take you somewhere and isolate you. Drive it over a high curb or get it stuck in mud. Use more drastic measures if you have seat belts and/or an air bag. Remember, the car can be replaced. When you use stairs or an elevator, always check before entering. If you are in doubt about your safety, wait for the next elevator or until you feel safe before using the elevator or stairway. Two or more other occupants in an elevator is safer.

Program the number one position on all your phones to 911.

Use only your last name and first initial on telephone listings, mailboxes and door security systems so a potential attacker will not know whether the occupant is male or female. If you have to work alone, have someone check in on you periodically.

Have a key word or phrase that will alert someone you are in trouble.

When entering your home, position yourself so that you have good visibility of your surroundings. This will reduce the chance of a push-in attack by someone waiting for you to open the door to make his move.

Program your answering system or voice mail message with a male voice.

Maintain a nonconfrontational attitude all the time. Be polite, direct and, whatever you do, refrain from antagonizing people with hand gestures or words. You have no idea what a person is capable of and you don't want to encourage an aggressive person's actions. Let an aggressor's actions be totally his so that you don't question or blame yourself for contributing to the act.

Do not resist and do not attempt to fight the attacker off. Accept his actions, let him be in control and let him know it. Say, "I'm scared," "Please don't hurt me," "I'll do anything you want" and other passive statements to help the attacker feel in control — until you see your opportunity to strike. If the attacker wants you to participate in the act, go along with him. This can open up opportunities for retaliation later. Accept fear as a main element of rape and use it to your advantage. Admit to yourself that you are afraid. Use deep breathing, visualization, yoga, Zen breathing, prayer, anything to get the fear under control. "Control" does not mean total control — if you can move, you have your fear under control.

Wait for your opportunity. The loosening of a grip or a change in the attacker's tone of voice could be a sign that he is dropping his guard and giving you an opportunity to counterattack. One woman who was confronted by an attacker in her own home acted as if she would do whatever he wanted and even managed to talk him into lying on the bed. She then hit him with a cosmetic case, wrested his knife away and stabbed him.

Do everything you can to avoid being tied up. Tell the rapist you will do anything he wants. You can even suggest things you would do for him willingly.

Never "telegraph," or show by your actions what you are going to do. You need to go from calm to rage in an instant to maintain the element of surprise.

If you are isolated, don't scream unless you've regained control of the situation.

Once you manage to stop your assailant, get out of the area as fast as possible. If the attacker has a gun or knife, take it with you. If the keys to his car are visible, take them, too. If your attacker is stunned and temporarily incapacitated, he will be extremely angry when he revives and you do not want to be around to give him a second chance.

Self-Defense Classes

Here are some local organizations that offer self-defense classes. You can also look in the yellow pages under "Martial Arts" or "Self Defense."

Center for Anti-Violence Education/Brooklyn Women's Martial Arts, 421 Fifth Ave., Brooklyn; (718) 788-1775.

The Learning Annex offers a "Serious Self Defense" class for men and women at different locations throughout Manhattan; (212) 371-0280.

The New York Martial Arts Center, 598 Broadway at Houston St., 3rd floor; (212) 598-1100, offers classes 7 days a week.

Prepare Inc., 147 W. 25th St., Manhattan; (212) 255-0505.


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